EPISODE 14: WHAT IS THIS PLACE??

.:: Day 17 ::.

Linda: "The parrot just delivered us a map, Rue and Mason. I think our Spa Day is about to start!"

Mason: "Ooh, that's exciting. What shall I wear?"

Caden: "Erm.... What you wear every single day, maybe?"

Linda: "For once, he won't have to! They are lending us back the luggage they took from us weeks ago."

Linda: "If I had known we were only going to keep the clothes we had on our back when we walked into this game day 1, I would have worn my armor. I just cannot wait to throw away my old clothes and put on a fresh, clean new outfit. "

Artie: "I hope les gars 'ave amusement today! Zis tribu could définitivement use some err.... pamping?"

Caden: "Pampering was the word you were looking for, cupcake."

Rue: "Speaking of this 'tribu'.... Don't we need a name? I don't think we've come up with an official one yet. Any ideas?"

Artie: "La tribu de loup-garou? AKA, Tribu of ze Werewolves??"

Izzy: "Hmmm... I was hoping for something more... sexy? How about the Foxy Tribe instead? Or the Sexy Foxes?"

Morgan: "Or how about just Tribe 'Go Fuck Yourself In The Arse'? Eh? Eh?!?"

Linda: "That's pretty foul, Morgan."

Morgan: "Okay, then let's convert it to Latin or Hawaiian language or something. Would that be better for you, sweet little innocent girl?"

Mason: "That actually is a good idea."
Morgan: "REALLY!?"

Mason: "No, er.... I just meant having the tribe name be in a different language."

Morgan: "...Oh. Then fuck me, right? Just wanted to do something funny, but if you guys want to stick with the 'Survivor' theme and be all serious about it, then just ignore me. I'm going back to sleep."

Mason: "Why not use the native language here? The one the Moari people use? That might be cool. We could combine our previous tribes... Implement some combo of Viperfang, Bloodclaw, Fire Clan and Ice Nation!"

Artie: "If I 'rember correctement, blood is toto, neke iz like un serpent, fire iz ahi-"

Mason: "That's it!"

Artie: "...Huh?"

Mason: "Totoneke! Translates to blood viper, or Viper Blood."

 Rue: "I like that idea a lot!"

Caden: "Sounds pretty gnarly, man. I'm diggin' it."

Izzy: "Then it's decided? Tribe Totoneke??"
 

Rue: "Sounds good to me!"

Mason: "Alright, glad that's decided then. Rue, Linda, let's head out!"

 Izzy: "...Not that I'm complaining, but you forgot your shirt, Mason... heehee."

Mason: "I did? Oh. I see that now... I guess I really COULD use some new clothes, hehe."

Caden: "And a new brain."

Mason: "Ditto, my friend. Ditto."

Mason: "It appears that we have found our spa!"

Rue: "You really think so, Sherlock?"

Linda: "We only found it because of our lovely map! Boy, I don't even know how I would survive without 'em!"

Rue: "Ooh, nice."

Linda: "Yes! Makeup and fresh clothes!"

Mason: "What a nice oasis."

Rue: "Where do we even start?!"

Linda: "I call the sauna first!"

Mason: "Be our guest. This reward IS yours, after all..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Rue: "I can really feel this clearing my pores!"

Linda: "I really ought to put these cucumber slices in my inventory, but I can't resist a good relaxation session!"

Linda: "Ahhhhhh...."

Mason: "Hey, Rue. I've been meaning to ask. Who's glasses are those?"

Rue: "Oh, Brent felt bad about Apricot stealing them, so he's letting me borrow these from some lady in the production team. They're not quite strong enough, my vision's still a tad blurry, but it's better than nothing. I'm hoping to find some extra lenses here so I can replace the frames in these."

 Linda: "That was nice of Brent! He really is a sweet guy. Too bad his heart is still grey when I talk to him. I need to figure out what he likes, so I can give it to him, and watch his heart grow redder and redder until I can propose! 

....But maybe I should wait. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?"

Mason: "You got that right. I thought Whitney was a nice fish.... Until she wasn't."

Rue: "Still cannot believe she was able to fool us for so long! If she can lie about her identity that easily, she could definitely be hiding the fact she's the Mole."

Linda: "Speaking of the Mole, I trust both of you, which is partially the reason I brought you here. However, I would like to get to know you better, Mason. We've barely had the chance to talk yet. I mean, I was on Viperfang, you on Bloodclaw, and then during the switch we were separated again. Now that we're finally on the same tribe, I would really like to sit down and discuss suspects with you."

Linda: "If you don't mind, of course. I know some people don't like to talk game with people outside of their alliances."

Mason: "Oh no, I'd love that opportunity more than anything! And if you did not mind, I really want to grill you with some questions of my own... But, uh, you seem pretty preoccupied with your mud and, uhm.... cucumber. So I'll let you relax for now. We can talk later."

 Linda: "Sounds like a plan, Stan!"

Stan the Cameraman: "Hey! That's my name!"

Izzy: "That really is fascinating, Artie!"

Caden: "So I don't know, I suppose that's part of the reason I hate it so much. My generation is just so spoiled and uneducated, but you'd think we could still speak our native tongue, right? So it just bothers me when young people can't speak proper English. Or when they type 'plz' instead of 'please'.... When they say that, I'm obligated to say 'No' because that's shorter than 'Yes'."

Morgan: "So basically, Whitney epitomized everything you hated about Millennials?"

Caden: "Eh... Pretty much, yes!"

Morgan: "Glad to hear I did such a great job getting on your nerves!"

Caden: "You could say that."

Morgan: "Millennials really do suck, don't they?"

 Caden: "....Let's just keep in mind that your generation, Generation X, isn't much better.... Or is it Baby Boomers?"

 Morgan: "...."

 Izzy: "That's so nice of Rue to make that for you, Artie! Where is your easel now? Should we go get it?"

Caden: "Huh? Adventure time?? Are we finally going to make a trip to the waterfall?"

 Izzy: "Huh? Oh, no, we were talking about the easel that Rue made for Artie. But you're right! We still need to take a trip to the waterfall! You guys want to do that first, then go grab the easel from the old Bloodclaw camp??"

Caden: "Sounds like a fun plan!"

Izzy: "Then what are we waiting for?! Let's gooooooooooooo!!!"

Artie: "I penser we needz to get nos maillots de bain on first before we do zat...."

Izzy: "If you're making an excuse, then I didn't hear ya! No party poopers, please.... We're all doing this, to prove those spa people that we can have as much fun here, without them!

So come on!!!"

Artie: "Non.... Our maillots de bain... our- our bath costumes..."

Morgan: "Good point. We DO need our bathing suits."

 Linda: "It's so nice to be able to grab fresh clothes from the luggage they took from us. Although I'm just realizing I didn't bring much variety... Just a lot of blacks and reds. Should I try on something else? I'm afraid nothing here is really my style though.... What do you gentlemen think?"

Rue: "You look-"

Mason: "Quite dandy."

Rue: "....Sure. Let's go with that. You look dandy!"

Linda: "Aw, thanks guys! I hope I can keep my makeup collection after this. This makeup isn't going to last much longer than a few days. Oh well. I'll survive. I always do."

 Linda: "Alright, time for the boys to get a makeover!"

Mason: "I need to find a new coat and collared shirt. Everything I'm wearing now has about half an inch of grime attached to it, hehehe... Oh, uhm, maybe don't put that in the episode? That actually is kind of gross. The grossest thing is having no toilet paper whatsoever.... errr... Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that on national television. Never mind, then."

Mason: "Where was I? Oh, yes! I need a new coat. That one doesn't look too shabby..."

Linda: "No, Mason, you need something lighter! A coat is too heavy for this kind of climate."

Rue: "And gloves aren't??"

Linda: "Good point. They accent my wardrobe, though!"

 Mason: "Okay, uhm... How about this?"

 Linda: "No, silly goose! You can't wear such plain white out here! It'll get filthy before you can even say the word 'Motherlode'.... Did it work? No? Well, maybe next time. But for now, mister, we gotta work on that hairstyle."

Mason: "Huh? What's wrong with my hair??"

Rue: "Do not even try to fight this one, mate. She's in charge today. Might as well fasten your seat belt now, it's going to be one HELL of a ride!"

Artie: "Well, nous voilà!"

Morgan: "Oh, jeez...."

 Morgan: "....."

Morgan: "That's a bit higher than I thought....

Come on Artie. Let's take the scenic route."

Izzy: "Awwww... Are you girls too scared to jump??!"

Caden: "Poor wittle babies!?!" 

Morgan: "Fuck both of you. I'm not dying today."

Caden: "And then there were two...."

Izzy: "Race you to the edge??"

 Linda: "I found the scissors!"

Mason: "Oh no."

Linda: "Oh shush, this is going to be fun! Rue, you look handsome. Are those your clothes?"

Rue: "No, I actually found these on the rack. They look good, right??"

Linda: "They do, but you could probably use some new shoes, don't you think?"

Rue: "Agreed, but unfortunately... No spare shoes here."

Mason: "So just HOW much are you going to trim again?"

Linda: "Oh, just a little off the top, sides, and back. And obviously quite a bit from the front, so that you can actually see again!"

Mason: "But, but.... I CAN see... Out of my left eye, anyway..."

Linda: "You got two good eyes, correct? You don't got one robotic eye like Shepard, right? You're not Kano or Auron, either? If you have two good eyes, then use them! 

And if you think you can spot all the details with one eye, then boy, are you out for a surprise when you're finally seeing double that!"

 Linda: "So do I have your permission, or am I going to have to coax you a bit more?"

Mason: "As much as I enjoy this unique rocker look, I think my momma would approve of something a bit more clean-cut. So you may begin."

Caden: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Artie: "Do you zink he'll survivre ze impact??"

Morgan: "Unlikely."

*SPLASH*

Caden: "WOOOOT!! I'M ALIVE!!!"

 Caden: "Come on Izzy!! It's your turn now!"

Izzy: "I think I just peed a little... heehee."

Artie: "Will elle back out?!?"

Morgan: "Likely."

 Izzy: "Alright, here I come! MAKE ROOM!!"

Izzy: "Here goes nothing!"

Izzy: "AHAHHAAUGGHGH!!"

Izzy: "HOLLLLLY SHIIIIIIIIII-------!!!"

 Linda: "Viola! And just like that, I am finished."

Linda: "Check it out. How do you like it?"

 Mason: "Oh! Well, then... Uhm, It....it's nice."

Linda: "Hey, I've never cut hair before, but I usually am skilled at everything else so I figured I'd be good at this too... Do you not like it?"

 Mason: "It's not that I DISLIKE it...."

 Mason: "I just would not be honest if I said that I liked it...."

Linda: "Ah, I see...."

Mason: "My apologies if I come across cross, that was never my intention. It just looks.... unfavorable."

Linda: "I could.... cut it a bit shorter, if you'd like...?"

Mason: "Really? That would be quite lovely of you. Thank you for this, you are very kind."

Linda: "No sweat, it's my pleasure! Just be warned though, that if I cut much shorter, your blue hair dye will be cut off too. Then you'll just be left with your white hair dye. What's your natural hair color, anyway?"

Mason: "Coppery. Yours?"

Linda: "You're looking at it, believe it or not. Anyway, let's cut a bit more, and then we can find you some better clothes?"

Artie: "So beau, so magnifique..."

Izzy: "We should totally swim through the waterfall! You guys literally have NO idea how badly I've always wanted to do that... It's practically on my bucket list!"

Caden: "You can go ahead, but there's a superstition that wading through a waterfall will change your future. You just might not like what you see on the other side..."

Artie: "Zut iz up with you and your conspiration théories and superztitions??"

 Morgan: "Ha. Like believing in werewolves isn't one?"

 Artie: "Excusez-moi? Let moi tellz you, werewolves are most certainement réal!"

Morgan: "Your little teddy bear doesn't count as 'real', unfortunately."

Izzy: "Caden? You aren't going to go through with me?!"

Caden: "Go through what?"

Artie: "Erm..."

Morgan: "Goldfish head here really needs his brain checked..."

Caden: "Don't know what you people are talking about, but if there's something I do remember, it's that we've been swimming for awhile now and my muscles are getting tired. I think it's time for a nap."

Morgan: "You do you, goldie."

Izzy: "Alright, here I go! Who's coming with??"

Artie: "Moi! I am excité!"

Morgan: "Just be careful; if the pressure is too much, it may pull you under."

 Izzy: "Awwwh! She actually DOES care for us!"

Morgan: "You be quiet."

 Linda: "Looks like that hair gel is doing its job! We could always dye your hair blonde, to make it look more natural, if you like?"

Mason: "That is alright, thanks though. I'm actually enjoying the white hair. I look like Jack Frost!"

Rue: "Haha, you kinda do! ....Oh good. Caden isn't here. I'm always paranoid he's about to correct my grammar. I'm a math major, not an English major, turd-face!" 

Linda: "Oh, Caden. The poor guy."

 Rue: "Why is he 'poor'? The guy is kind of an asshole... His true colors certainly have started to show... And by true colors, I mean all of them! He can't be Gayden without his rainbow, right?? 

...Okay bad joke, I'm sorry."

 Mason: "Yeah, he is actually a pretty rude young fellow. At this point, I don't know who he HASN'T gotten in a tiff with. He's slowly burning all his bridges. He said something pretty disrespectful to me today, remember? About how I need a new brain?"

Rue: "I do remember that, yeah! That seemed pretty uncalled for. Plus, he was a nightmare during the auction mission yesterday... That got really ugly."

Mason: "Indeed.... Say, what's that on your forearm?"

 Rue: "Oh, you've already noticed? It's my new tribal 'tattoo', for Totoneke! Just in celebration for making it to the merge. It's got all four tribe colors on it- red, green, orange, and blue. The red and blue is more prominent, since it represents my allegiance to Bloodclaw and Ice Nation. I used some of the makeup and hair dye to fill it in."

 Mason: "That's pretty neat, Rue! Where can I get one?? Hehee. No. I wouldn't know where to put it. Definitely NOT on my cheek again, ESPECIALLY since I no longer have any hair to cover it!"

 Linda: "Oh, man. I just got really tired..."

Rue: "You and me both. Nap time?"

 Linda: "Yes, I think so! Why else would they give us this tropical canopy oasis??"

~~~ One hour later ~~~

*a bird swoops in and lands on Linda*

Linda: "Ahhh! What the-"

Linda: "Gahhh.... I was having such a nice dream! I was powering through Mushroom Kingdom without losing a single life!"

Linda: "Hmmm... I see all is still quiet on the frontier...."

 Linda: "How beautiful. The waves, the birds, the wind.... For the first time in my life, I feel completely.... At peace."

Linda: "My entire life, since the day I was born, has been filled with drama, violence, and problem after problem.... Always a new quest to complete, a new sink to repair, a new bad guy to hunt down, and.... a past to hide from. But now, in this moment, I feel completely and utterly free, for the very first time. I have no worries. Nothing tying me down, nothing making me anxious.

 I just feel.... content. Perhaps, maybe even...... Happy?"

 *shivers run up Linda's spine, and pleasant goosebumps cover her entire body like a sudden, gigantic tidal wave, crashing down on her like a warm, gentle hug....*

 *She smiles softly*

.:: Day 18 ::.

Mason: "Owh! Who put this fence here??"

 

BRENT: "Welcome, contestants, to your first Execution as a merged tribe!"

BRENT: "I see you've all brought fire.... Except one person."

BRENT: "Where's Rue? Should I be concerned?"

Mason: "He told me he was sitting this one out, sir."

BRENT: "Sir? No need to call me that, mate! That's too formal for this chill setting. And that's odd. How come?"

 Morgan: "He thinks he's superior, because he's got that exemption necklace around his neck."

 BRENT: "Is that so? Who said that? Morgan, eh? Was that really his reasoning for not coming?"

 Morgan: "No, he claimed he has 'food poisoning', but I saw him tinkering with his blueprints before we headed off. And he made sure to rub in the fact that he was safe, and that I was vulnerable tonight. The little brat. Reminds me of my students, and not in a good way."

BRENT: "Huh... Well, he IS immune, so I guess no biggie. I would say that the rest of you are in danger of being executed tonight, but we must keep in mind that there's a chance someone here is holding an unused idol, which, since the merge, has magically turned into an exemption! So there could be additional exempt people tonight.... And with that, let's get into it!"

 BRENT: "Let's start with.... I dunno. Caden? Sure, let's start with Caden! Are you ready to see your results, dude?"

Caden: "Give it to me."

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Caden: "Damn. Should've swam through that waterfall."

BRENT: "Unfortunately, Caden, you have been eliminated. Please say your goodbyes and ride the zipline down to the shore, where your boat awaits you."

Caden: "Huh...? There-there's a boat and ZIPLINE waiting for me?! What is this place?? Disneyland? This is the BEST day of my life!!!"

 Linda: "That poor soul. I wish him better luck in his future endeavors."

Izzy: "I'm gonna miss the eye candy, that's for damn sure!! But I think he's got the 'luck' thing on lock. He had plenty of luck from all those superstitions, but luck can only get you so far in this game. You need real determination and skill to survive."

BRENT: "Amen! Preach it, sistah!! And that is actually very true. Luck only got him so far; at this stage of the game, you really need to know your shit. Caden clearly didn't, but do the rest of you?"

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