EPISODE 15: EF YOU, EFFIGY!

.:: Day 19 ::.

Artie: "Zut… I just realisé... if zere was anny personne out zere who could 'ave 'elped moi out wiz mon Anglais du merde, eet was Caden. I should 'ave demandé him for 'elp. . . I guess I 'ave to try and contacte him après ze show iz over."

Morgan: "Morning, fellow human. At least, I THINK you're human, and not some kind of robot who doesn't know when to stop working.... Or maybe you're just a Mexican?"

Rue: "Uhm... what? That sounded quite racist. But you're right, I don't.... If you're wondering where I was last night during the execution, then now you know; I was right here, working on this horseshoe game. Then I spent the rest of the night crafting some extra chairs, so that we could all sit around the camp fire together."

Morgan: "That sounds like a waste of time."

Rue: "....Needless to say. I'm exhausted. But I still need to test these horseshoes out to make sure their weight ratio is balanced. I don't have a scale, mind you.... Well, actually, I COULD make one, but I'd need..... well, no, I think I could! But.... Maybe it's best I get some sleep first...."

Morgan: "So you spent the entire night essentially putting a pole in the ground, and making a few half-rings that we're supposed to throw around it?" 

Rue: "Well, there's more to it than that. I needed to make a sand pit too, plus, I also spent the night chopping up trees to make those extra chairs."

Morgan: "Thanks for that, but I'd rather sit on the ground and not risk getting splinters up my ass."

Artie: ""ey Rue?!"

 Rue: "Yes Artie?"

Artie: "I am run out of ze vibrant paint couleurs zat you made wiz ze fruits... I need vert, bleu, and orange couleurs, pronto, pleaze!"

 Morgan: "Looks like you're close to being finished?"

Artie: "Zat, I am. 'owever, I needz mon vibrant couleurs! Chop chop, Rue, before zis paint stiffens!"

 Rue: "Am I just a slave to you people? I supply and invent all this stuff, and it goes almost COMPLETELY unnoticed!"

Morgan: "I'll thank you once you build me my own mansion out here."

 Artie: "Awwwh, poor peu Rue. I meant non offense. Eet would jus' be very utile and nice to 'ave mon many couleurs back. But I can zettle for zis noir paint for now, oui."

 Morgan: "I'm guessing 'noir' is black, like film noir? How interesting. I've done a few stage plays in that style before.... Moreso in the line of German Expressionism though."

 Artie: "Ah, yes, ze Allemands.... I know une German film acteur. We met at an galerie d'art, believe zit or not."

Morgan: "Oh trust me, I can believe that...."

Morgan: "So what do we got here? What is this 'art' supposed to symbolize?"

Artie: "Zit iz not done yet, but zit will be une chef-d'oeuvre!!

.....er, un masterpiece!"

Morgan: "'Un Masterpiece'?? Ha! More like, 'Un Disaster-piece!'" 

Artie: "....."

 Morgan: "Might want to watch your step, by the way. Middle of the night, I had the runs, and didn't quite make it to the bushes....

 Artie: "ZUT?! Dégoûtant!"

 Artie: "Where iz zit?! I don't zee annyzing!"

Morgan: "Calm down pumpkin. I didn't shit over here... It was closer to the horseshoes."

Rue: "WHAT??"

Linda: "Mason? Izzy? Anyone here?"

Linda: "HELLO? MASON?! IZZY?? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS??"

Linda: "Huh? What's our hatchet doing on the ground? They must have dropped it.... But why? Oh god... I hope they weren't attacked by something..."

Linda: "Can you help me search for them instead of just pointing that camera at me? This might be serious... There are literally THOUSANDS of different monsters and creatures that could have attacked them, even during daylight. I can't even begin to list all the- ...Wait.... is that them??"

*Mason is talking, but is too far away to understand*

Linda: "Guys?? What are you doing?"

Izzy: "-huh!?"

Izzy: "Oh, it's just you Linda, and Dan- Oh, shit. Mason!"

Izzy: "MASON. Quick, we really gotta go this time. Dan's filming us."

Dan the Cameraman: "And what exactly are the two of you doing? Spying on production's camp, are we?"

Mason: "What?! Ahahaha, noooo... We would never. Just passing by, and we happened to hear Brent's voice, so we got curious...."

Izzy: "YOU got curious. I said we should stay away, but you didn't listen."

Producer: "What's going on over there??"

Izzy: "Shit, shit shit! We gotta run! Come on, Mason!"

Izzy: "Dan, you never saw us!"

Mason: "And neither did that camera! You can erase evidence.... right?"

Dan the Cameraman: "Uh.... Isn't that illegal?"

Izzy: "Who cares?! Mason, HURRY!"

Linda: "...... That was odd. I should probably get out of here before they suspect ME of eavesdropping."
Dan the Cameraman: "As of right now, you still technically are, being so close to our vicinity.
Back to your own camp you go!"

Linda: “So, today, Mason and Izzy went out to collect food for our camp. They were out for hours and I became slightly concerned, so, I went out to find them… Turns out, they made a little ‘Spy Shack’ and were spying on the Producers’ camp! When they saw the cameraman who followed me there, they panicked, not wanting to get caught spying. They later told me that they stumbled upon the camp, and 'accidentally' overheard a producer’s conversation with Brent inside their tent, but I have a feeling it was Mason’s idea to stay and eavesdrop a bit to gain some Intel on the Mole. They have yet to tell me exactly WHAT they overheard, but I plan to figure that out tonight. All I know is that it involves Morgan, and how she was able to get onto the show in a disguise, despite there being a rule against that.”

Artie: "Zut a beau night.... Ze stars, ze lune, ze feu.... I particulièrement admirer ze glow of ze feu... Mr. Loupe 'ere likes zit too, huh, Loupe??"

*no response*

Izzy: "Not gonna lie. I feel like I'm at a 6-year-old girls' teacup party, with all her stuffed animals friends...."

Mason: "What makes you say that?"

Izzy: "....."

Linda: "Hey guys. Enjoying the fire?"

Izzy: "FINALLY. A HUMAN WHO ISN'T A VENTRILOQUIST."

Mason: "Oh, hello there, Linda. Fancy running into you again, hehehe.... Uhm, but yes. My friend here is really enjoying the warmth, I must say. She doesn't like the cold much."

Linda: "Erm. Okay, that's nice to hear...."

Izzy: "Girl, don't you be judging him! At least his friends are physical objects, not imaginary video game characters!!"

Linda: "Oh....."

 Artie: "Ouch... Zat waz a bit harsh, Izzy..."

Izzy: "Right..... I'm so sorry. I'm just REALLY hungry is all. I would KILL for some hot food right now... like ballpark food! You know, pepperoni pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs.... All the stuff I was neglected of as a child. And I've never been to a baseball game either, my mother said sports were for 'barbarians'.... That bitch."

Artie: "Zounds to moi like you really want zome meat!"

Izzy: "Oh, I do.... I really, REALLY do.... ESPECIALLY a baseball player's meat.... Travis Blackley anyone??"

Artie: "....You want to consommer humain meat? You un cannibale or somezing?? Not zat I am judging, ze courze..."

Izzy: "Girlie, you still got a LOT to learn, hehehee!"

 Linda: "You're right though, Izzy. I shouldn't judge him. I can just sit on the ground. I don't need a chair. Sorry Mason."

Mason: "Oh, no, please don't apologize! I'm the sorry one. Here, let me move-"

Artie: "Zat iz OK, Mason. I waz juzt leaving anyway. Rue got moi new peint colorée, so ze itch to peint 'as returned!"

Artie: "'ere, Linda, you can 'ave mon siège."

 Linda: "That's really nice of you, Artie, but that's okay. I'm comfortable here. I've been in rougher terrain, TRUST me...."

 Linda: "So I mainly came over here to ask exactly how Morgan got onto the show? Mason, you heard a producer telling Brent how, right?"

 Artie: "Dzere!"

Artie: "Now mon Loupe can sit wiz your Licorne, Mason! Zey will be ze best of friendz..."

Mason: "Careful now, you are pushing him mightily close to the fire!"

 Artie: "'Him'? I dzought you said earlier zat she waz une she?"

 Mason: "I did?"

Artie: "Euh!"

Artie: "Merde!!"

 Mason: "NO!"

 Linda: "I got him!! THANK NAYRU I'M WEARING GLOVES!"

*Linda chucks it as hard as she can*

Mason: "WAIT!!"

Mason: "It can't go into water, it'll be destroyed!"

Mason: "It.... he.... s-she's g-gonna drown! I'll save you, baby!! Papa's coming for you!"

Morgan: "What's up with all the ruckus over there?"

Rue: "Don't know, don't care. I'm never included in the fun, so I really could care less."

Morgan: "I think it's 'couldn't care less', but I'm no Caden."

Rue: "Morgan, why are you even helping me with this? What's your motive here?"

Morgan: "Excuse me??"

Rue: "Please don't play dumb with me. I heard that you thought the toilet I made back at Bloodclaw's camp was just a pointless shit-hole, so I have to wonder why you're helping me make THIS 'shit-hole'."

Morgan: "Where is this even coming from?!  ...Okay, look. I know I'm not all peaches and roses all the time, but that doesn't make me a horrible person, Rue. This is actually a good idea, I hate having to shit in the bushes, a mile away from camp. Plus, I heard there was no privacy for the last toilet you made- unfortunately for Georgie- but this one does, so I figured I'd help you build it."

 Rue: "Still waiting on the catch here."

Morgan: "What!? Rue, there's no catch here! I just thought-"

Rue: "Yes, thought what?"

Morgan: "-...Jesus. You really don't believe me, do you?"

Rue: "It's fine, Morgan. Just leave me alone so that I can finish this in peace, please."

Morgan: "What the-?!? Mason just jumped into the lake with his clothes on!"

Rue: "I just told you it was fine, Morgan. You don't need to come up with an excuse to leave."

 Morgan: "No, seriously!!"

 Morgan: "What's going on?! What's Mason doing??"

Mason: "Brrrrrr!!"

Artie: "He iz try to save hiz Licorne."

Morgan: "His licorne??"

Linda: "It's my fault."

 Artie: "YOUR faute?! Absurdité! Zat's nonsenze. I waz ze one who pressé hiz prized Licorne into ze feu, not you!"

Linda: "Yeah, but I'm the one who threw it into the lake, to cool it off."

Morgan: "You.... what? Pushed his unicorn into the... fire? Seriously? That is HILARIOUS. And then-then, you Linda, threw it into the lake?! And now he's swimming out there, fully clothed, to try and save it?!?!?!

 HAH! Haha! Haahahahahhaha!!! 

...That is TOO good."

Artie: "Zit iz NOT hilarant, Morgan...."

 Morgan: "Well, I think it's 'hilarant'. How do you NOT?? That's like, a classic farce-humor moment. Reminds me of... The 3 Stooges or something, ha!"

Linda: "This really doesn't feel like the right time for jokes, Morgan."

Izzy: "I just think it's funny that SHE thinks it's funny, hehe, but no, you're right. Morgan, you should probably just be on your way."

Linda: "Mason's going to be devastated..."

Morgan: "But-"

 Artie: "Juzt go."

Morgan: "Alright then. I guess I'll just head to bed. G'night, everyone."

ALL: *no response*

 Morgan: "...."

.:: Day 20 ::.

BRENT: "Alright, now that everyone knows their point value, let's get onto the rules for this mission."

BRENT: "This mission is called, "Burn 'Em To The Ground", and is another knockoff of a classic Survivor challenge."

"As you can see before you, each of you has your own effigy to represent you."

BRENT: "Linda, yours is your OWN little look-a-like avatar."

Linda: "Aw, how cute!"

BRENT: "Rue, yours is a mechanical robot, because your skill lies with all things machinery." 

Rue: "Very suitable."

BRENT: "Mason, yours is.... Well, do we really have to explain?"

Mason: "No."

BRENT: "Izzy, yours is a mummy with his cloth falling off, symbolizing you shedding your skin of Isabelle while simultaneously escaping the suffocating sarcophagus that your parents stuck you in."

Izzy: "How poetic!"

BRENT: "Morgan, yours is.... Well, we didn't know what to get for you, so, uhm... We got you a 'duck'."

Morgan: "A duck? Why?"

BRENT: "What rhymes with duck?" 

Morgan: "Fuck! Ooh, I fucking like it already!"

BRENT: "And Artie.... I don't think we need to explain this one either...."

Artie: "Zit iz moi! En teddy-bear forme!"

BRENT: "'Righty, mates! So behind that, there is a series of chains."

BRENT: "One at a time, you will come behind here and remove a hook from a player's rope, and it will slide into the next knot, making their effigy fall closer to the flames below. Each player has 3 knots, so essentially, each knot represents a life."

Linda: "Oooh, or like a heart! I've had 12 hearts at once before, you know."

BRENT: "Riiiight.... One exception though; as you may remember, Morgan got an advantage for the next mission during the Auction mission. That advantage? She gets an extra knot, or life, in this game."

BRENT: "After 3 strikes, your effigy will fall into the fire pit below."

 BRENT: "And once it does, your life in this challenge is extinguished. Last man- or woman- standing, wins an exemption."

BRENT: "And as you all already know, each of you is worth a different amount;

75

100

125

150

175

200."

BRENT: "Whoever is the last one standing, their worth is added to the group pot. I WILL say though, that your worth is not COMPLETELY random... There IS some kind of pattern at play here. That's up to you guys to figure it out, if you even want to.

Alright, let's begin!!"

*****

BRENT: "We can go in order from left to right. That means, Artie, you're up first!"

BRENT: "Will she tell us her target, or will she just do it?"

Artie: "I will juzt do zit."

*CLINK*

BRENT: "And just like that, Morgan's effigy is on the edge with everyone else, eliminating her advantage in this mission. Everyone is on even playing grounds now... This is anyone's game."

Morgan: "Drats."

Morgan: "At least I know what I'M doing now..."

Artie: "Zut. Zat was un bit too.. impulsif, on moi end."

 *CLINK*

 

 Artie: "Hmph."

 

Morgan: "What goes around, comes around."

 

 Izzy: "Oh god. I'm already feeling the stab of guilt..."

 

Izzy: "Sorry, sister! I figure maybe, the order of our points is the order we're in, making you worth the least... Nothing personal, of course."
Linda: "I understand completely." 

 

*CLINK*

Mason: "By that logic, then, you're not worth the most either, Miss Izzy."

Izzy: "Hey! Watch out!!"

Mason: "Is that a threat? Are you- AHH!!"

Mason: "MY FOOT!"

*BRENT jumps out of his seat*

Mason: *scrambles to find his footing* "GAUGH!"

~
~
~
~


Mason: "Phew. Now THAT was a close one, ahaha.... I'm quite the clumsy guy, aren't I? Hehe, oh well."

Mason: "Sorry Izzy! But I must follow through with the presumed points!"

 *CLINK*

Izzy: "With that logic, made more sense to hit yourself, actually."
Mason: "Is that even allowed?"
BRENT: "Why yes, yes it is."

Morgan: "I hope you guys will soon realize the REAL order... It's alphabetical, by first name. That's why I'm worth a lot, and why Rue is probably worth the most."
Rue: "Huh? How did you know...?"

Rue: "If it's alphabetical, then... Shoot. I'm not good with letters... Well, I'm good with numbers though, so if Artie is first in that, then she must be the lowest, at 75. Only one way to find out..."

*CLINK*

Artie: "Vut are you all lookinz at??? I am wordz 3 figures, promize!"

BRENT: "Linda, it's your turn now. And, I should also mention, that if you are eliminated in a round before you have had your turn, you WILL have the chance to go again."

Linda: "Sorry 'sister'. Revenge is a you-know-what!"

 *CLINK*

Izzy: "Yowch."

Artie: "Mon turn encore!"

 *CLINK*

Izzy: "Double yowch."

BRENT: "Izzy, you have been eliminated. However, you still get one more turn."

Artie: "Moi out first? Non, not now. Excusé moi, Izzy."

Morgan: "This isn't anything personal, of course, Artie. Just gotta keep the points in mind. Your name starts with A, so, you probably have the lowest amount. Sorry."

Artie: "Do not s'excuser iff you do not meanzit..."

Morgan: "But I did.... I think."

*CLINK*

BRENT: "Artie, you are officially eliminated. Please have a seat in the back."

Artie: "Alzeady on zit."

 *Izzy takes her final shot at Linda*

*Mason finishes Linda's effigy off* 

*CLINK*

Linda: "Jeez. What did I do to you guys?? Luckily, I still get one more go..."

Rue: "Oh no. I'm in a pickle... Both are still at 3 lives... Then again, so am I."

Rue: "Grrr.... Okay. Sorry Mason, but if this points theory is correct, then Morgan is worth more than you."
Mason: "Sort of convenient for her to come up with that, is it not young lad?"
Rue: "True..."

*CLINK* 

Linda: "Smart call, Rue. I'll try and finish him off!"

Linda: "Or maybe, I could.... Nah. Let's stick with Mason, since he might only be worth 150."

  *CLINK*

Mason: "This feels a bit too soon..."
Morgan: "Are you being triggered? Is seeing a purple unicorn go up in flames a trigger for you now??"
Mason: "..."

Linda: "Cut him a break. His prized possession was just burnt to a crisp, and then drowned last night. This challenge isn't exactly making him feel any better about it."

BRENT: "NO idea what you folks are talking about.... Burnt Corn? What? Anyways, Linda, you are officially out. Please join Artie and Izzy."

BRENT: "Morgan's turn now. Her next move is 50/50.... What will she do?"
Morgan: "I COULD drop my own a bit, you know..."

BRENT: "YOU? Sabotage yourself?! Haha! Good one!!"
Morgan: "I'm serious. I could."
BRENT: "Uhm.... April Fools?"
Morgan: "It's not April."
BRENT: "Erm.... Is it opposite day?"
Morgan: "Why is that SO hard to believe?!?!"
Rue: "You're not exactly the definition of 'selfless'... No offense."
Morgan: "Grrr..."

Morgan: "I have HAD it with you people thinking that I'm some kind of awful, immoral person!! EF you. EF you all!"

Morgan: "...AND EF YOU, EFFIGY!!"

*CLINK*

 Mason: "Oooookay then. I suppose I'm next?"

Mason: "After that outburst, I should just take a swing at Morgan. She STILL, by some MIRACLE, has 3 knots left as well..."

Mason: "However, if she's telling the truth, and is worth 175 points.... But then that means Rue is worth all 200 points... If I'm worth 150... Hmmm... I need to think about this. I have 1 life left, Rue 2, and Morgan 3...."

Mason: "Rue just got an exemption, does he deserve another? Maybe I should.... Hm, wait, no."

Mason: "Let's see, if I finish off myself, that leaves.... No, that's a bad game move. If I make a hit at Morgan, that leaves her tied with Rue, which then could leave the door open for me..."

Morgan: "What's taking him so long?"
BRENT: "Good question.... Should I check?"
Morgan: "Why not."

Mason: "Gosh, darnit, no, that don't work either!"

Mason: "But what's most important here?! The points? Safety? Looking suspicious? NOT looking suspicious??!"
*BRENT pops his head in to check on Mason*

 *CLINK*

Morgan: "Ah, finally. I deserved at least one strike against me."

 Rue: "Finally, my turn again!"

Rue: "Got two choices here.... Binary numbers. 50/50.... Hmmm...."

*CLINK*

Mason: "..."

Mason: "Yep, definitely too soon. RIP, my beloved's cousin."

*CLINK*

*CLINK*

 
 Linda: "So you two still haven't told me how Morgan was let onto the show...."
Mason: "Oh, right..."

Izzy: "Basically... She didn't want to go onto the show as herself, knowing she wouldn't do well. She wanted to be well-liked, so she essentially tried to bribe the producer and casting team to let her on, but in a disguise."
Linda: "She BRIBED them??"

Mason: "Well, the guy we heard didn't call it that. He was telling Brent, or almost bragging to Brent, that they struck a deal with her...."
Linda: "Yes? And that deal was...?"
Izzy: "That any money she won, either by winning or being the Mole.... They could keep."

 Linda: "....Huh? That's... odd. But why?"
Mason: "She's just here for the experience and limelight. Apparently she doesn't really need the money."
Linda: "Bu-but... If that's true, then wouldn't the production team be a bit biased in her favor?"

Linda: "That means they may have chosen her as the Mole, or.... worse: They're rigging the show to let her win."
Mason: "Indeed. That is what we were fearing as well..."
Linda: "WOW. Morgan is SUCH a SNAKE!"
 Morgan: "Huh-?"

Rue: "Good game Morgan. I'm an idiot for cutting Mason loose, now I'm destined to lose. Should never have trusted you, should have cut the head off the snake a lot sooner. Oh well, that's my fault, but your gain. Congrats. You better be telling the truth about your point value being so high, but for some reason, now I'm starting to doubt that... You're probably worth the 75, honestly."
Morgan: "...."

BRENT: "Each effigy stands with one knot between them and a fiery death... Morgan's move should be VERY obvious here, however."
Morgan: "...."

Morgan: "Hmmm...."

*CLINK*

Rue: "...It didn't move?" 
Morgan: "Yes it did." 

Rue: "Whaaaaaaa.....??"

BRENT: "....Oh. Oh wow. In a surprise twist.... Or accident? Morgan lifted the chain out of her last knot, sending her effigy into the flames below. Meaning...."

BRENT: "Rue's effigy is the last one standing! Congrats, Rue! You have earned an exemption, and are safe during the next execution, which just so happens to be a DOUBLE ELIMINATION."

Rue: "HALLELUJAH, BABY!!"

BRENT: "Care to share how much you were worth?"
Rue: "Sure. Morgan was right. I was worth the jackpot: 200."
Morgan: "And I was worth 175.... As mentioned before. Congrats, Rue."
Rue: "Er, thanks?"

BRENT: "How about the rest of you? How accurate was this alphabetical theory?"
Mason: "Seems like it was completely accurate, sir."
Artie: "Oui oui!"

 BRENT: "Alright, and with that, that concludes this mission! Congratulations to the group; a MUCH needed 200 points were just added to the communal pot."

BRENT: "Rue is immune from taking the next Quiz, but I can't necessarily say the same for the rest of you... 2 of you WILL be eliminated from this game during the next Execution. So, I recommend getting some rest, recharging your batteries, and studying the heck out of your journals.
See you all in a few days... And Rue, don't plan to be absent again! Or else.... Nah, I'm not going to do anything. But seriously. Don't skip it again."

******************************************************************************