.:: Day 11 ::.
Dan the Cameraman: "Uhm, Whitney...? This shouldn't be my concern, but your, uh.... 'breasts', are a bit.... lopsided, to say the least...."
Whitney: "Excuse me?! ....Oh shit. Not again."
Whitney: "...This is like... totally the dozenth time this has like happened!"
Dan the Cameraman: "Yeah... We know."
Whitney: "That's creepy."
Dan the Cameraman: "We see everything."
Whitney: "That's like... totally creepier!"
Whitney: "Found it!"
Whitney: "Alright, just gotta like totally put this back on, and we are set!"
Whitney: "....."
Whitney: "Do you, like.... MIND?? You're totally zooming in on my boobies right now! Totally boobarish and unswivelized."
Mason: "WHITNEY!"
Whitney: "ACK!"
Mason: "There you are.... Oh. Did I scare you?"
Whitney: "Oh, uhm... Only a little bit... How much did you see?"
Mason: "Oh, I was watching you for some time... NOT in a creepy way though, may I add! Ahaha, erm.... Yeeeah. It's just, nothing gets past this old goose, hehee!"
Whitney: "Oh...."
Mason: "Oh, but no, don't worry at all! I won't tell a single soul. It's really no biggie, anyway. Nobodies perfectly happy with their body, you know. I hate my chubby cheeks, but then again, some ladies think they're cute, ahaha... uhm, but that's besides the point..."
Whitney: "It's just like, I'm totally self-anxious about how small they are, and my girlfriends told where I could totally find some, and how they would totes make me look more bootyful and apple-peeling to look at. I didn't want to get a boob job, because that's just super duper axpensive and I like totally don't want no plastic in my rump! That's like... sooooo unsanitary!
So you really don't think it's like, a big deal that I have them???"
Mason: "That you wear bosom enhancers?! Of course not! Not every man likes enhanced, well, for a lack of a better term..."
Whitney: "Bazooms??"
Mason: "...Erm, yes, let's go with that. Most men actually prefer authentic over artificial. Remember that, kiddo! Hehehe...."
Mason: "For instance, I actually PREFER a firmer, more roundish bosom, because-"
Whitney: "...."
Mason: "...they are the absolute PERFECT combination of-"
Whitney: *takes a step back*
Mason: "....Oh my. I am... so, SO so so sorry! I was.... NOT, in any way, shape, or form, trying to touch your chest! I am so sorry, I know that looked bad, but trust me, I am a gentleman, I would never touch a lady, especially-"
Whitney: "No, no. It's totes alright, Mason. You're not Adrian. I don't think you were doing it conchessly."
Mason: "Oh... Phew!"
Whitney: "Should we like, head back to camp or what?? We need to let Isabelle and Adrian know about the parrot mail they've got."
Mason: "Yeah, sounds good... But just remember, Whitney: You are perfect JUST the way you are. Don't let your so-called 'friends' tell you otherwise. What kind of friend tells you that you aren't good enough, anyway?! Something tells me that you need to drop this friend from your circle. What's her name, anyway?"
Whitney: "Her name?"
Mason: "Yeah! Which one told you that you needed bigger breasts to impress?"
Whitney: "Oh, well, it was sort of all of them...."
Mason: "ALL of them told you that? What kind of crowd are you hanging with, gurl?! Hehehe... Oh, sorry. That sounded weird, didn't it?"
Whitney: "OMG, hahahaha, you're so funneh sometimes, Mason! Why haven't you settled down with a girl yet? You're such a sweetie-peatie!"
Mason: "Aww, well, thanks. The same could be asked of you, quite frankly. You SEEM like such a nice, sweet, pretty girl. How come no guys have come knocking on your door?"
Mason: "That's what you keep saying."
Whitney: "Should we start heading back now?"
Mason: "Sure. Seriously though, I am curious. Sorry if I'm pestering you, but you've never spoken of love. With all those boys you dated, you never truly fell head over heels for ONE of them?"
Whitney: "Oh, I'm sure I did, but that was like.... a long time ago, you know. A past life!"
Mason: "You're 21."
Whitney: "I know, aren't I just so old?! Ugh, it's like LITERALLY terrible."
Mason: "...."
Whitney: "...What? Did I like, miss the joke again?"
Mason: "No, but I fail to see how you've forgotten all your relationships. What was your last boyfriend's name?"
Whitney: "Fred. And you know I like totally don't have a great memory... Better than Caden, though! But that's like.. not even saying much..."
Mason: "What was Fred like?"
Whitney: "Fred? Just your typical guy, like I guess... He was my first ginger BF, and he had a twin brother!"
Mason: "You just described Fred Weasley."
Whitney: "Fred... who?"
Mason: "Harry Potter?"
Whitney: "Hairy Popper?"
Mason: "Never mind. Who was your senior sweetheart?"
Whitney: "My... huh?"
Mason: "Your senior sweetheart! Almost everyone has one."
Whitney: "I had like.... a hella lot of boy toys during my high school days, Mason. I barely remember like any of their names! Too many to even count on three hands..."
Mason: "Surely you did the deed with one of them?"
Whitney: "EWWWW! That's gross, Mason! Who DOES that?!"
Mason: "Ermm... Most people and animals, Whitney..."
Whitney: "But like.... two people... at the same time.... together?!"
Mason: "Yes, Whitney. That's how babies are born."
Whitney: "With people POOPING together?! I don't t'ink so, Mason!"
Mason: "What are you even.... I meant having sexual intercourse, Whitney. That's what I meant by 'doing the deed'."
Whitney: "Ohhhhhhhhhh. I'm like, such a dork-me-fork! I TOTALLY thought you meant like... Ya. HA! That's like, so my mistake! I'm so funneh sometimes, you don't even like want to know! Like this one time, my girl friend asked me what the stupidest animal in the jungle was, and she was all like, 'da polar bear!', and I was all like, 'uhm, what?'! I was like, sooo confused! And then, it like TOTALLY HIT ME... Polar Bears don't LIVE in the jungle.... THEY LIVE IN THE SNOW DESSERT! I am SUCH a doofie sometimes, I like swear by it..."
Mason: ".....So you never had intimate contact with any of your past boyfriends?"
Whitney: "What? Oh, no. I lost my virginity at like.... 12?"
Mason: ".....Let's just walk in silence for now, shall we?"
Isabelle: "I hope those two come back with some food, our rice supply is running quite low."
Adrian: "Oh, stop worrying, princess. We'll be fine!"
Isabelle: "Coming from the guy who's tribe ran out of rice and had to survive off coconuts and fish...."
Adrian: "If you expect me to only eat a cup of rice a day, that, my friend, is quite ludicrous. There's plenty of resources around here."
Isabelle: "Pardon my language, but on a damn volcano?? I think not. I think we shall ration our rice better for these next few days. We do not actually know whether or not we will be here for 2 more days, or 2 more weeks!"
Adrian: "They are not going to let us starve to death, you do realize that..... Right?"
Isabelle: "Where did you get that pen?"
Adrian: "From Plum. She donated it to me."
Adrian: "Almost makes me feel bad for getting her out of the game."
Isabelle: "What are you talking about now, madman? It is WAY too hot for me to care about your crazy conspiracies."
Adrian: "Perhaps I shall tell you at a later date, when the cameras aren't nearby.... And when you're in your immature mood."
Isabelle: "Is that what everyone calls it?"
Adrian: "Uh-huh. You're only fun at night."
Isabelle: "Who says mature people cannot be fun too??"
Adrian: "Not I. I consider myself a mature man, but I'm also the life of the party. You're just particularly uptight."
Isabelle: "Completely untrue!"
Adrian: "Oh yeah? Let's prove it."
Isabelle: "With what?"
Adrian: "With..... THIS little guy!"
Isabelle: "Adrian.... What are you doing??"
Adrian: "Having fun at the misfortune of others."
Isabelle: "Adrian! Stop!! I do not think that is a wise thing to do..."
Adrian: "And why not? Mason is obsessed with this thing. It's an unhealthy obsession!"
Isabelle: "Put it down, Adrian."
Adrian: "Are you going to stop me, or just keep standing there?"
Isabelle: "...."
Adrian: "I thought as much."
Adrian: "Say goodbye to his little friend!"
Isabelle: "Seriously!? Adrian, that is VERY unkind. How does this benefit anyone??"
Adrian: "It benefits me. I've having a blast!"
Isabelle: "This stuffed unicorn clearly means a lot to him; out of everything he had in his luggage, this was the ONE ITEM that he kept. What if it has great sentimental value to him?"
Adrian: "What sentimental value can this ugly purple thing hold?!"
Isabelle: "You never know. What if it belonged to a daughter of his that died young? Surely that is not something he would share willingly. What if it was passed down to him by his mother? Grandmother? Secret girlfriend?"
Adrian: "Ehhh.... I don't really give a fuck, to be perfectly honest. He'll forgive me, don't worry."
Whitney: "What are they like, doing over there??"
Mason: "Not sure... Wait, is that my...."
Mason: "HEY!!"
Mason: "What are you doing?! STOP!"
Adrian: "Ahahaha, you were too late, Mason! Time to go for a little jump-"
APRICOT: "FIRE CLAN MEMBERS, I NEED YOUR IMMEDIATE ATTENTION."
Adrian: "God damnit. This will have to wait."
APRICOT: "We are here to search everyone's bag. We have reason to believe that someone smuggled in some drugs."
APRICOT: "We tested Plum's vitals and blood after her medical evacuation, and found traces of caffeine overdose. Since there is next to zero ways to consume caffeine out here, we know someone brought something in. And it definitely was not her."
APRICOT: "So if I could get everyone to go sit down while we search, that would be GREAT."
Mason: "Adrian attempted to destroy my property. Shouldn't he be punished for it?"
APRICOT: "He probably should be, yes, but we got bigger fish to fry at the moment."
Mason: "Erm, okay, well.... I hate to be a bother, but it was my special item that he attempted to destroy. It wasn't just my underwear or something silly like that. I don't think he should be allowed to touch my personal items, unless I give him permission to..."
APRICOT: "I can tell you're distressed about it, so sure, why not. We'll deal with him later. Can you please sit down for now? Thanks."
Assistant Producer Dude: "This bag is empty too."
APRICOT: "How about rather than tell me all the ones that are empty, you just open your trap when you actually find something, okay? Okay. Glad we got that settled...."
Adrian: "Is this search and seizure even constitutional? I don't believe you had a warrant.... Not saying I haven't looked through people's belongings without one, but the difference here is; I was doing it privately. You are doing this rather nationally."
APRICOT: "Mate, you signed your life away the moment you stepped onto this game show. You have like.... zero rights here, LOL.... Okay, not sure why I said that, but still funny."
Adrian: "My rights are still violated. I could sue."
APRICOT: "That's not going to happen."
Adrian: "And why not?"
APRICOT: "Because we're not in America, or any first world country for that matter, silly. We're on a remote island that's practically lawless."
Assistant Producer Dude: "I think we got something, Apricot."
Whitney: "IT WASN'T ME, I LIKE TOTALLY SWEARS!"
Isabelle: "Calm down. We know it was not you. Adrian is the only imbecile here dumb enough to smuggle in drugs."
Apricot: "Alright, talk to me, Jim. What do we got?"
'Jim': "They're Pro-Plus pills. Caffeine tablets. Stuffed inside a fake cologne bottle."
APRICOT: "Yikes.... Although, better than heroin, I suppose. Fortunately those days are behind me... ANYWHO."
APRICOT: "Time to cough up.... Who's bag is this?"
*SILENCE*
APRICOT: "There's really no point in not telling, we've had cameras on you for two weeks. I think it'll be easy to determine who's is who."
Adrian: "It's my bag, but I have NO idea how those got there. Honestly. Plum must've stuck them in there or something."
APRICOT: "They weren't Plum's, that much is sure. Why she had any is still a mystery. Did she ask for it, or was it an accident? Because she told us she has never swallowed a pill."
Adrian: "You know, these are all good questions."
APRICOT: "Yes, they are. I want some good answers in return though."
Adrian: "That's too bad. I also have another right.... Freedom of speech. I choose to say nothing."
APRICOT: "Well, I choose to assume that you are guilty. We can do this the hard way, or the easy way. Hard way, we test your blood. Easy way, you just confess and you won't be TOO severely punished..."
Adrian: "I want immunity if I confess."
APRICOT: "Immunity?!? Who do you think you are??"
Adrian: "A victim of overly strict laws."
APRICOT: "Well, you practically just confessed anyway. Your punishment will be minus 1 point on your next quiz.... Oh, and make that 2 for vandalizing another player's property."
Adrian: "Jeesh. Why are gingers so cruel??"
Isabelle: "What is that supposed to mean?!"
Adrian: "You know what it means."
APRICOT: "Alright, I think we're good here. No more smuggling in shi-.... I mean... stuff... Stuff you shouldn't have, guys. If we catch someone again, that'll just end in more strikes against you. So please, don't be stupid."
APRICOT: "See you bright and early tomorrow for the next mission!"
Producer Dude: "Any movement out here yet?"
Dan the Cameraman: "Nope. Still nothing. They're all hibernating, it appears, sir."
Artie: "Ze course we hiberner! Zit iz FREEZING!!"
Producer Dude: "Just make sure they come out of their nests for tomorrow's mission, OK?"
Dan the Cameraman: "Yes, sir! ... Can I have that blanket?"
Producer Dude: "NO. MY BLANKET! BAD DAN. BAD!"
.:: Day 12 ::.
APRICOT: "Ice Nation... GEORGIE, eliminated in the last execution."
APRICOT: "And obviously, for Fire Clan, PLUM, medically evacuated."
APRICOT: "Please, have a seat."
Rue: "What is this mission?"
Linda: "I think I know..."
Caden: "I'm scared."
Artie: "Même..."
APRICOT: "Welcome to your SIXTH mission, contestants!!"
APRICOT: "For today's mission-"
Rue: "Erm, Apricot? I hate to interrupt-"
APRICOT: "But you did anyway?"
Rue: "....Hehe, yeah, sorry, but ehhh... I can't see you."
APRICOT: "Did you lose your glasses too? Welcome to the party. Sorry, no glasses out on this island. Guess how much the shipping fee is? No, really, just guess. Anyone. Anyone guess the shipping fee to get something to this island."
*no one responds*
APRICOT: "$290. That's how much. My glasses are 12 dollars. But anyway, tough luck Rue. Welcome to the club."
Rue: "No, I still have my glasses. It's just the tables are facing the wrong way..."
APRICOT: "Then move?"
Linda: "Impossible, unfortunately."
APRICOT: "Why the hell not?"
Linda: "I know I'm going to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but sims have limited actions. I'm feeling pretty unflexible like a sim.... Is it possible that we are just in a sim game??"
Caden: "Not a word."
Linda: "Wut."
Caden: "Unflexible isn't a word. You cannot just make up your own words."
Linda: "Uhm... Okay? Sorry?"
Caden: "You're welcome."
APRICOT: "Uh. Fine, we'll fix the seating situation later. Blame my shitty-I mean.... EXCELLENT, FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL set designers. Ahem.
On with the mission. Can I get... Let's see. Who would be fun to go first.... How about...."
APRICOT: "Mason from Fire Clan!"
Mason: "Uh-oh."
APRICOT: "And Rue from Ice Nation!"
Rue: "Why me?!"
APRICOT: "Cause you two seem like an even match. Please, sit in the front for us."
APRICOT: "This mission is called 'Bon Appétit', for one simple reason.... You'll be enjoying many local 'delicacies'. If you can finish your entire plate within 30 seconds, you add 10 points to the pot, and give your tribe a token.
Tribe with the most tokens at the end of this mission wins immunity.
There will be 8 rounds. Everyone goes twice."
APRICOT: "For our first round, we'll start with something sweet...
KEY LIME PIE!"
APRICOT: "But I'm warning you now, this is NOT fresh.... AT ALL. It's 3 months expired. That's what happens when you try and ship perishable foods across seas...."
APRICOT: "Oh, YUCK! Smells like my grandfather's feet!"
APRICOT: "Here's one slice for you, Rue."
APRICOT: "Annnnnd one for Mason."
Mason: "This is not going to be a good day for me..."
APRICOT: "You and me both, spud!"
APRICOT: "READY, SET...... GO!!!"
APRICOT: "How is it, Mason?"
Mason: "OH it's just lovely. Thanks, Apricot."
Rue: "BLECH!"
Mason: "Oh god.... gross..."
*for the rest of this mission, just imagine chewing, gagging, and choking sounds XD*
APRICOT: "And Mason have finished!"
Adrian: "Nice job man."
APRICOT: "...And so does Rue!
Score is 1-1."
APRICOT: "Good job you two, on to the next match..."
APRICOT: "Anyone want some pie before we move on? No? Okay. The next match will consist of.... Hmm let's see..."
"WHITNEY."
"AND LINDA."
APRICOT: "Come on up, girls!"
Mason: "You got this, Whit!"
Whitney: "I like.... Hope so."
APRICOT: "For today's gourmet, we got...."
APRICOT: "Oh. Did Jim get someone to change the seating? Awesome. I like it when things get done. As I was saying..."
APRICOT: "This dish isn't so much a delicacy, but an ancient beverage of strength for the Maori people... What is it, you ask?"
APRICOT: "Cocoa and bear blood."
Whitney: "Uhm... Like, GROSS?!!"
APRICOT: "The Maori people believed drinking the blood of a bear made you a warrior. It was a rite of passage. The cocoa gives it a sweet taste, and the blood gives it it's yin-yan.... Bitterness.
Enjoy!"
Linda: "I'm not so sure I can do this...."
Whitney: "Like, dildo..."
Linda: "Ummm.... What?"
Whitney: "Dildo!"
Linda: "One more time?"
Whitney: "Dildo! Like, I agree.... Dildo! Ewww.... This smells irony..."
Linda: "....Am I the only one hearing this?"
Adrian: "Oh, no, I hear it, but I think it's hilarious. Don't correct her, please."
APRICOT: "READY.... SET..... GO!!!"
*Whitney coughs up blood.... literally*
Whitney: "Awwhhh... fucking shit.... All over my.... like, totally beautiful skirt!!"
Whitney: "Ahermm... excuse me...."
Whitney: "I couldn't finish it.... Too nasty... Sorry-"
*Whitney gags*
Linda: "Okay, I'm not doing this. Her gagging sounds aren't helping. There's no way I'm going to swallow that much blood.... I just... can't. Blood... terrifies me. I-I can't... I'm so sorry guys....."
Adrian: "Uh-oh...."
Adrian: "She's about to explode! Everyone run for cover!!"
Whitney: "Awhh no, awh man oh shit oh fuck-"
Whitney: "BLOUERGH!!"
Caden: "I can't watch this."
Artie: "Moi neidzer!"
Rue: "Are you guys kidding?! This is entertainment at its finest!"
Adrian: "Let me help with your hair-"
Whitney: "NO! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"
Adrian: "But it's getting in your-!!"
Whitney: "BLEUAGHGH!!"
Adrian: "Let me help you, damnit!"
Whitney: "BLAUGHHH NOOO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY- BLUEAHHHGAGHAAHAH!"
Adrian: "What the hell?!"
Isabelle: "Someone stop him! He's pulling out her hair!!"
Whitney: "....God fucking damnit it all to hell...."
Adrian: "What in the world is going on here?! Why do you have a wig?!"
Whitney: "I...I have cancer, and I went bald, and I was embarrassed so I put on a wig..."
Mason: "Pardon my french, but you LIAR!"
Artie: "Zat iz not French!"
Whitney: "Fine, if you're so brilliant, then, why don't you tell everyone what you THINK you know, Detective? Because I like TOTALLY am confused myself..."
Mason: "You are not who you say you are. I know that much. Your past is obscure, and you change the details far too often. You don't even remember any of your past boyfriends, and your family remains a mystery to us all."
Mason: "And you're clearly not 20 years old. You've got some defined wrinkles, and they've only been covered by your makeup, which, you no longer have."
Mason: "So please, tell us what's really going on, 'Whitney'. Or should I say.... Impostor??"
'The Imposter': "Fine.... You caught me. Good job. Took you long enough..."
Adrian: "So who the hell are you?! A spy? A secret agent? ...The Mole??"
???: "I'm not who I said I was... and I NEVER wish to be anything like her! Honestly, did you really think that anyone could be that dumb and naive? Ha! Whitney was merely one of my characters and she had you all fooled! Well... Mostly. I did have a bit of trouble but when you're a master actress like me, you all could have gone all season without ever seeing the REAL me... Oh. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Morgan Hyde and I am NOT a blonde bimbo bitch like Whitney. Ha! I am actually 38 not 21... I am a high school drama teacher and director. Happy? Thanks for ruining all the 'fun'..."
Isabelle: "What the..."
Adrian: "Fuck?!"
Morgan: "So yeah. That's me. I was hoping to stay in disguise a little longer, but pretending to be that dumb for that long is TAXING. It's almost harder to be dumb than to be smart... Being smart comes naturally to me. Anyway.... Any questions?"
Caden: "Yeah, I got one... Can I just ask, why?"
Morgan: "Simple. Everyone trusts a dumbass like Whitney. Everyone overlooked me when I was her. They didn't think she paid any attention, so people let their guard down. If I played as me, Morgan, no one would talk to me. No one would trust me, because they know I can be intellectually superior to most of you.... If not all."
Morgan: "I'm going to take a seat now. Adrian, can you pick up my wig that you so kindly threw on the ground?"
Adrian: "Yeah, sure.. Here you go...."
Morgan: "THANKS."
APRICOT: "Uhmmm.... Reality show gold, much??"
APRICOT: "Unfortunately.... I was not aware of this, and I'm not sure if Production or even the casting team was either. Because applying to our show under a false persona has been banned since the 'Courtney/Nocturne' incident, I think I need to discuss this with the crew..."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK...
(Just kidding, shit already got real)
APRICOT: "ANNND we're back!"
APRICOT: "Apparently the casting team knew of Whitney's- erm... Morgan's, real identity, and neglected to tell either Brent or myself."
Producer Dude: "Erm, Ms. Autumn? I know you don't want to hear this, but we actually DID inform both of you.... Everyone in production knew."
APRICOT: "I'm sorry, but you're wrong. I knew nothing. No one said a word to me."
Producer Dude: "Well, you hadn't been flown to the island yet, so we emailed you. We told Brent in person, before shooting day 1. Although, he never said a word about it, come to think of it..."
APRICOT: "Did it EVER occur to you that maybe, just MAYBE, Brent didn't hear you because he's DEAF?! And I never saw the email. Perhaps it went into spam. Or perhaps I didn't see it because I am so BLIND that I legally cannot drive a vehicle?!?!"
APRICOT: "MY LORD. LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH. LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL.
Apologies, everyone. Just a 'small' miscommunication. Morgan shall be given no punishments.
On with the mission at hand, eh?"
APRICOT: "The next contenders are Artie and Adrian, and they have already been served their dish: SAUTEED MOLE SNOUTS!"
APRICOT: "....Adrian? Where's your plate?"
Adrian: "Huh? Oh. On the ground."
APRICOT: "Grrr... And WHY is it on the ground, may I ask?"
Adrian: "Because the idea of eating a mole's nose doesn't exactly appeal to my palate. I have a sophisticated palate, I do not consume food made by lesser people."
APRICOT: "So you're forfeiting this round for your tribe then, am I correct?"
Adrian: "That is correct, honey."
Morgan: "How fucking typical of you."
Isabelle: "I'm telling you. Never trust a man."
Mason: *sighs*
APRICOT: "Then I guess that leaves Artie to compete against.... herself? Start whenever you want, Artie."
Artie: "Vous pouvez le faire, Artie!"
*Artie gags*
Artie: "No, no, I got zis! Zis is easy, Artie! Zink of 'em as.... frog legs!"
Linda: "Wooooh!! Go Artie!"
Rue: "You're ALMOST done. Just one more bite!"
APRICOT: "AND with just seconds to spare, she finishes her plate! Another token for Ice Nation!"
APRICOT: "Let's bring on out our next contenders! Where you at, Isabelle and Caden?!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
APRICOT: "For our next dish.... We got pig! And no, not pig's meat.... That was just a regular meal for the Maori people. No, what these two are about to eat is what the indigenous peoples believed made them more aware, more alert, and smarter...."
APRICOT: "PIG BRAINS!"
Isabelle: "Uhmmm.... I do not think so."
Caden: "Yeah, this is ridiculous. I'm not sure $10,000, or even my safety in this game is worth putting this in my mouth."
Isabelle: "I concur. I will not be eating this."
APRICOT: "Well, that's your decision to make, but if you change your mind, you have less than 30 seconds to do so, because the timer starts RIGHT NOW!!"
Isabelle: "What is 10,000 American dollars converted to Australian money? Sounds like a lot...."
Rue: "Just over 13,000!
....13,295.22, to be precise."
Isabelle: "How do you even.... Urgh. Never mind.... Fine. Let us get this over with then, shall we?"
Caden: "How... How is it?"
Isabelle: "Oh, it.... it's absolutely scrumptious! ....not."
Caden: "Okay... here goes..."
Caden: "Mmmm.... Mhmm... mururugahghgh...."
APRICOT: "SEE! Now that wasn't so bad, was it?!"
Isabelle: "Done."
Caden: "Done as well... I'm going to puke.... wait.... Nope. I'm good... I think."
Caden: "I'm mostly just happy that Whitney was just a sham. I don't have to deal with her atrocious language anymore.... Artie, on the other hand..."
Artie: "Excusez-moi?!?"
APRICOT: "I'm going to go ahead and prepare the next dishes. You guys will determine your opponent for your second and final round... Remember, Ice Nation is up by 1 token!"
~A few minutes later....~
Artie: "AUFGH! ZIS IS DIEU TERRIBLE!!"
APRICOT: "The worst part about this 'delicious' pie isn't even the fact that it's made out of bugs' guts... It's the fact that we gave them no utensils, forcing them to eat it.... You guessed it..... With their mouths."
*Morgan is making terrible eating sounds*
Artie: "Zis is not too mal, only making moi apprécier food back home!"
*Morgan gags and spits some back out*
APRICOT: "REMEMBER, as nasty as it sounds, if you spit any out, you still have to slurp it back up in order to finish! Gotta eat all of it."
Artie: "Regarde! I am fini!!"
Morgan: "Augghhh.... Someone stab me...."
Artie: "Z'ow much time iz left?!"
APRICOT: "4....3....2...."
Morgan: "1."
APRICOT: "Both women have cleared their plate! Ice Nation, 4. Fire Nation, still trailing behind by 1, with a score of 3."
~ ~ ~
APRICOT: "I'M AFRAID TO EVEN WATCH THIS GUYS."
APRICOT: "The dish was a dead scorpion, and Caden has already opted out."
Caden: "You have NO idea how much bad luck a scorpion brings. It's one thing to spot one. It's another thing to get pinched by one.... It's yet ANOTHER thing to be stung by one.
... But to EAT one?!?! I don't even want to know the hell that would occur then. Probably another Nazi disaster."
Morgan: "You practically ARE a Nazi though."
Caden: "What?! HOW?"
Morgan: "Maybe because of your incessant need to correct people? You're a grammar nazi. You thought you were so superior to Whitney, so intelligent. So, the joke was on you, good sir."
Caden: "Well, looks like the joke is actually on YOU, 'good lady', because you're the one covered in bug guts."
Isabelle: "Auggh... Someone help me!!"
*chokes*
APRICOT: "Do I really need to call in medical? I mean, I will! I don't mean to be sour. I am a very sweet gal, I promise. Just ask Brent! But today has been.... One HELL of a day!"
Isabelle: "No.... I think...... I think I'm good. It's stinger was caught in my throat though."
Isabelle: "I am afraid I will have to bow out, however. I cannot finish this in time. And I nearly chocked to death. Sorry tribe, but I'm done with this."
Morgan: "What?! No! We need to catch up to Ice Nation!"
Isabelle: "I do not see YOU assisting us with that. You puked your first go-around."
Linda: "I'm ready to go, now."
Linda: "As long as it's not blood again..... I'll do it. Whatever it is... As long as it's not blood."
~ ~ ~
APRICOT: "This is a nice jack-of-all-trades healing smoothie, right here! It contains.... Milk, ginger, catnip, snake venom, dandelions, and CHARCOAL of all things. Ginger, dandelions, and catnip all have a multitude of natural healing properties, so if you didn't already know that, then YOU'RE WELCOME.
The small dosage of snake venom cures all insect bites, and charcoal wards away dark spirits... But there's as much scientific backing to that as all of Caden's superstitions COMBINED."
Caden: "RUDE."
Linda: "At least there's no blood!"
APRICOT: "READY, SET...... GO!!!"
Mason: "You're going to have to explain this blood thing to me later, Ms. Blake. In fact, I intend to interview you QUITE intensely the moment I have a chance. If you don't mind, of course...."
Mason: "Although, I would expect you to do the same to me, because after all, we have never been on the same tribe, you and I. I have much to learn about you, and you me."
Linda: "I'll drink to that. Bottom's up!"
Mason: "Cheers! Hehe, oh golly.... What have I gotten myself into...."
Mason: "Ouughoh... erhh...BELAUGHGH!!"
*Mason spits some of the drink back out*
Linda: "MUTE! Someone mute this guy. I don't need another opponent making gagging noises, only making me want to puke more"
Linda: "I have good self control though. I control my actions.... Every one of them. This doesn't even taste that bad! A little bitter, but holding my breath makes it easy enough."
APRICOT: "6....5.....4...."
Mason: "Uggh.... No way I can chug the rest of this..."
Linda: "FINISHED!"
*Linda flips her cup upside down to prove there's nothing left*
APRICOT: "And just like that, Ice Nation WINS with 5 tokens!
Since Fire Clan only has 3 tokens, they cannot possibly catch up in the final round."
Mason: "Oh. I'm so.... so sorry, guys. I didn't realize what the score was. And key lime pie was a LOT more tolerable than whatever THAT was...."
APRICOT: "This drink won't give you as much stomach pain as that key lime pie though! Good luck digesting that tomorrow... Or even now... It's gonna be a loooooong night for a lot of you!!
Fortunately for you though Mason, some of the ingredients in that aids in digestion, so perhaps you should have dranken all of it?"
Caden: "Here we go again. I know it can be confusing for some of you people, but some words are already past tense! Dranken isn't a word. It's just... 'drank'. That's it."
Caden: "NO."
APRICOT: "Hm. Shocker.... Onto the final round then!"
APRICOT: "And for this one, I need to deep-fry it a bit, just so that the bacteria doesn't kill ya! Heheheee..."
APRICOT: "Aherm."
APRICOT: "Oh no, where did those little guys wonder off to now...?"
Rue: "This doesn't sound good..."
APRICOT: "No, it does not! Oh, you know what, I think they got into the pig brains. I'll go fish 'em out and throw 'em in the fryer."
Rue: "What are those.... On the table...?"
APRICOT: "OOP! There those suckers are! Here, I'll take them from here."
*APRICOT tosses them into the fryer*
APRICOT: "SO those are called beetle larvae. Beautiful creatures, are they not? They're still alive, and because their shells are a little too tough to chew and digest, we gotta cook 'em real good first!"
APRICOT: "Oooh, I am just SO excited for these guys, mhmmm!! I should season them with some Apricot juice too!!"
Adrian: "This is a freakshow. Whoever thought of this challenge needs to eat a bag of dicks."
APRICOT: "OCTOPUS TESTICLES! THAT'S WHAT'S MISSING FROM THIS CHALLENGE!!"
Rue: "......"
*Rue spins the contents of the 'soup' around the bowl*
Caden: "Rue, what did your mom say about playing with your food??"
Rue: "This isn't food..."
APRICOT: "There's not as much pressure to eat it now, Rue. Your tribe has already won immunity! You're only doing it for the money now. Adrian already opted out. It's just you. You and this bowl filled with bug larvae and octopus-testicles soup."
Rue: "I guess.... I'll try it? 10 points is a lot of money, after all..."
Rue: "Oh. Ohhh... OH GOD...."
Rue: "Someone, someonanoo...."
Rue: "BLEUARGHHG!!"
Isabelle: "Poor kid. How awful."
Mason: "It's too gut-wrenching to see."
Morgan: "He needs to pull it together. He's puking away thousands of dollars as we speak!"
Adrian: "Uh-oh.... We got another runner!"
"Coming from Australia, I've eaten some weird stuff... Kangaroo, snake, even tree bark and sap! But signing up for The Mole never made me think I'd be eating stuff this weird. Curse this weird season."
Adrian: "I got this one."
Isabelle: "What a surprise. A man actually showing compassion for once. Who knew?"
Adrian: "Well, I run into situations like this all the time with women at bars, who-"
Isabelle: "Annnnd there you go. Your ulterior motive, which is to sleep with them."
Adrian: "True. But the difference here is that I don't want to get into Rue's pants. He's a good kid, I feel for him. I didn't like puking when I was his age, either. I was embarrassed by it. Still am. Why do you think I haven't participated at all today? Throwing up on national TV isn't something on my bucket list. Puking makes you inferior, and I am superior to my body. My brain should control my body, not the other way around.
Now excuse me. The boy has long hair too, it could easily get in his way like Whitney's hair did."
Morgan: "It's Morgan, and try not to rip out his hair too."
Adrian: "I'm pretty sure he's not pretending to be a cute little barbie doll, so I don't think I'll have to worry about that this time. Thanks for your concern, though."
APRICOT: "Admittedly, his dish was a little more than one serving, and arguably, grosser than the rest, so we'll give it to him for trying. His opponent didn't even attempt to eat any of it, but at least he did.
So, that's another 10 points for the group pot! Well done Rue."
APRICOT: "Final token count is...
6 FOR ICE NATION
3 FOR FIRE CLAN."
APRICOT: "That means NINE plates were successfully consumed in time, adding 90 points to the pot."
APRICOT: "7 plates, however, were left untouched or unfinished, meaning those 70 points will be lost to the Mole's Kitty."
APRICOT: "That brings this season's current pot total to 420, while the Mole claims a whopping 820.
Looks like the group is starting to make a slow comeback, but they still have a LONG ways to go!!"
APRICOT: "I'll see Fire Clan in a few days for their Tribal Execution, where another player will become a casualty to the Mole.
Alright, let's get outta here. This place reeks of.... Everything nasty in this world."
APRICOT: "Oh, and one last thing...."
"...Try to keep your belly right-side-up and not up-side-down!
We don't need any more puking...." ;-)
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